


Overwhelm

by GoddessofBirth



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Consent Issues, M/M, Masturbation, Voyeurism, adam Milligan deserves nice things, but really out of everyone these two have mastered consent the best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:16:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21814291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoddessofBirth/pseuds/GoddessofBirth
Summary: Bodies are beside the point in hell, but now they’re back topside.  There are some new things they’ll have to learn to navigate.
Relationships: Michael/Adam Milligan
Comments: 16
Kudos: 217





	Overwhelm

Adam shuts the room’s door behind him and groans happily when he sees the bed.Oh yeah, he’s gonna sleep the fuck out of that mattress.He feels, more than hears, the irritated click of Michael’s throat. 

“You have no need of sleep.

_Not the point,_ he thinks, but does not say. He drops the bag of clothes on the bed and turns to scan their surroundings as he stretches luxuriously.The cage had been big enough - metaphysically limitless he assumes - but it never stopped feeling...confined.

He still doesn’t have a job, and they still have no money.But hell had beaten a few of the scruples out of him, so he had no problem convincing Micheal to glamour the Target cashier and the hotel clerk into believing they had been paid.They couldn’t do it forever - nothing drew bored hunters like tabloid stories - but he’s willing to risk it for a couple of days.

He’d spun Michael a justification of fancy hotels having better security and reducing the chance of an ambush, but really, it was all about the bed.The bed and—

He walked over to the bathroom and pushed the door fully open. Fuck yes.The shower.Fucking huge and with an endless supply of hot water.Oh he was gonna shower the fuck out of that...shower.

Michael is exasperated and confused.“You don’t need to shower.I can just—“ He raises his hand and Adam knows he’s about to snap them clean.Adam pulls it back down.

“Not the point,” he says aloud this time.Michael glares at him and Adam glares right back.Finally Michael nods.“This is like the burger.”

"This is like the burger, “ Adam confirms.“Do you understand how long its been since I’ve showered?”

“Yes.It’s been—“ Adam rolls his eyes and cuts Michael off by toeing off his shoes and walking into the bathroom.It’s been ten years - _1200 years_ his brain unhelpfully corrects - since he’s undressed, and his hands fumble at buttons and zippers before muscle memory kicks in and he strips out of clothes preternaturally cleaned for centuries.He feels better already.

He turns on the water and faces himself in the door’s full length mirror.He traces a scar underneath his third rib that he got when he fell off the bleachers in sixth grade.A burn mark on his bicep from a stupid dare in tenth grade.A jagged white stripe on his thigh from being pulled through a trap door. He’d assumed they’d be gone.Weird that Micheal could rebuild his body from a Molotov cocktail but that his childhood remains.

He heads to the shower. 

He heads to the shower except his body doesn’t move.Michael is staring at him through the mirror, head cocked to one side.

“I’ve never fully seen your vessel before.”

“Pretty much like every other human out there.I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of them.”

Michael shakes his head, his eyes scanning up and down.“Why would I have paid attention?”

Adam refuses to feel self-conscious in front of an entity whose actual form is a particle beam and who needs Adam to teach him how a revolving door works and how much to tip a bellhop.“Fine.”He holds his arms up to the side.“Have at it.”

Michael’s eyes are clinical and cold as he retraces the scars.“I should fix these. It was a mistake to leave them intact.”

“No thanks,” Adam replies.“They’re mine, not yours.”

Michael huffs at that and Adam scratches a tickle at the back of his neck before ending the freak show.“Enough of that.I’m not losing out on the hot water.”

He steps into the shower and tilts his head back and moves right into the spray.“Oh my god,” he moans, holding still just to feel the sheer heat.Hell was so fucking cold.Micheal leans against the wall outside the shower, arms crossed petulantly and making no attempt to hide how much he thought this was a waste of time.

“Keep my father out of this, if you don’t mind.”

“Come on,” Adam beckons him with his head.“Seriously.You said you wanted me to teach you.You can’t learn if you won’t feel.I promise, this world makes a lot more sense if you do.”

Michael snorts inelegantly and looks down his nose.“No thanks. You can feel it for both of us.”

“Coward,” Adam sing-songs.Then he laughs and points a finger at Michael’s jacket and jeans.“You know we’re not wearing that anymore.”

And just like that, Michael’s naked.He narrows his eyes and Adam shrugs, turning his neck from side to side as the pelting water unlocks years of muscle strain.“Hey, I don’t make the rules.Seriously.Get in the water.”He sweeps his hand out in invitation, amused as hell and wondering if Michael will get the stick out of his ass long enough to give in.

Michael sighs and shoves off the wall and in the next blink he’s standing under the spray.“Happy now, kid?”

“You don’t feel shit, do you?”He can tell.Can feel Michael hanging out in that veil behind his eyes, far away from nerve endings.As far as he can tell, Michael has never actually deigned to experience human sensation; leaves that for Adam alone.“Don’t be a snobby angel.It isn’t gonna work otherwise.”

“I _am_ a snobby angel.” 

The stand-off lasts less than 30 seconds and then Michael capitulates.“Fine.”Adam feels a chaotic, disorienting moment when he can’t tell who is driving what bus, and then Michael gasps.

He gasps and his eyes close and water is cascading through his hair and over his face and down his chest.His mouth falls open and his tongue sneaks out to catch a drop of water hanging onto his top lip.

Adam smirks.“Pretty great, huh?”

“It’s overwhelming,” Michael breathes, honest in the way they’ve been with each other for years.“I hate it.”

“Give it a minute, old man.”

Adam grabs the tiny bottle of hotel shampoo and washes his hair. He closes his eyes to rinse out the suds and when he opens them Michael’s fingertips are inches from Adam’s chest.He’s waiting, though.Patient.

“Can I?” he asks, eyes looking intently at the water running in rivulets down Adam’s skin rather than his face, still respecting the rules they had agreed upon after a few stormy years ( _240 years_ ) in the cage.Michael is welcome to take control if the vessel itself is threatened, which was pretty much all the time before Lucifer and Michael got bored and fucked off to their respective corners, but other than that it’s about permission, consent.Otherwise Adam flat out refused to communicate and Michael is, deep down, lonely as fuck.

“Ah...” For all that Michael is following the letter of the agreement, this request is something new.They don’t _touch_ each other, for all that they share the same body.One of them drives, and one of them rides shotgun and they hang out in a metaphysical brain space when they’re not doing one or the other. 

“Ah...” he says again, then shrugs.“Sure? I mean do you want me to just—“ he waves his hand vaguely around to convey going to the backseat but Michael shakes his head.“Okay, alright.”

Then Michael presses his fingertips to Adam’s chest and Adam knows... _knows_...that physically this is his hand, carefully tracing out the lines of his pecs and his ribs, but he doesn’t feel his skin under his fingertips; instead he feels Michael’s fingers against his flesh.He never sees his own face when it’s Michael staring in the mirror and this hand isn’t his either.

And fuck, fuck, fuck he hasn’t been touched in years.Hasn’t really touched _himself_ in years.Bodies are beside the point in hell.Michael’s breath hitches as a bead of water runs from his eyelash into his eyes; he blinks rapidly, his eyelashes clumping together and Adam grits his teeth.

He shivers despite the heat and then the tickle in his neck is back.He cups it with his hand right as Michael’s pinky brushes his nipple.

“Michael,” he warns, with enough force that he’s pretty sure the stop is at least heavily implied.But Michael doesn’t respond, is still staring transfixed at his hand on Adam’s chest.The tickle increases as Michael inhales.It’s ragged, sucked in through a mouth gone slack, and there’s color high on his cheeks that has nothing to do with the steam and the heat.

Michael’s _“it’s overwhelming”_ flashes through Adam’s brain and - oh.

_Oh_.

Adam wraps his fingers carefully around Michael’s wrist.“Hey...hey,” he says softly, gently, as he halts Michael’s movements. Michael freezes and his breath hitches again.He stares at Adam’s fingers circling his wrist and then his face.Adam looks wryly but pointedly down.

Michael’s gaze follows his.For a second neither of them move and then Michael jerks his hand away and makes a face.

“Well now I’m insulted,” Adam teases. This isn’t going to be weird.Adam isn’t going to let it be weird.Especially because Michael’s face is a hilarious mix of horrified, turned-on confusion.

“Is this...” Michael’s lips twist in a sneer as he contemplates his erection.“..what being human is?This is what Castiel fights to protect?”

Adam shrugs.“Sometimes.And sometimes its scars and bloody noses and really, really good hamburgers.”

Michael huffs and cracks his neck and both flush and hard-on disappear as the barrier returns between his grace and Adam’s soul.Adam kind of wishes he had that same nifty trick but that would require him letting Michael take the driver’s seat and Adam wants to finish his damn shower more than he wants to forget this entire incident.

Michael is currently staring at the bottle of body soap, so Adam returns to his all things human commentary.“Showering is a thing most humans do now.At least a couple times a week although that depends on what you do.I’m hoping Sam and Dean shower every day.”

“I don’t want to talk about Sam and Dean.”

“You think you’re the first kid to get fucked over by their parent?”

Michael whirls and points at him, much like he had at the bunker.“You...just...”

Adam snorts and laughs.“Just saying, it’s alright to be sad.Still gotta figure out what we do next.”

“I know.But not—“

“Not right now.Yeah.That’s why we’re in this sweet hotel with room service and a mini bar and did you see the size of the tub?”

“I don’t get dru—“

“Yes you will.Trust me, okay?”

Michael steadies and says with the same seriousness he had used when he had first spoken to Adam rather than over or at him, “I do.”

“Good.”It’s mutual.He really could have done a lot worse.That Zachariah guy for instance.Or _Lucifer_.

He gives a running dialogue as he soaps up and rinses off and tries to pretend his erection doesn’t exist.Except Michael is the kind of dick who won’t let him.

“When is that going away? Does it need intercourse?”He’s staring suspiciously at Adam’s dick like it’s going to jump out and bite him.

Adam sputters water before rolling his eyes.“You’re embarrassing.Sex.The word is sex.Or fucking.And don’t flatter yourself.I’ve been out of commission for ten years-“ _1200 years_ “-a strong breeze is gonna make me happy.It goes away when it goes away.No sex required.”

“Hmm.”Michael is quiet for another moment and Adam is almost lulled into believing he’s gonna actually shut up and let Adam enjoy his damn shower.He leans up against the cool tile and lets the water wash over him.He’s relaxed and happy and going to sleep for an entire week.And other than this disturbing little blip he’s optimistic he and Michael are going to be able to lay low and avoid hunters and deity alike.

“You’d normally masturbate, wouldn’t you?”

His eyes shoot open.“Jesus fuck, Michael!”Michael is looking at him the same way he had in the mirror, cold and clinical and curious.

“If you couldn’t have sex, you would masturbate.”

“I knew I should never have told you about Nicole Sherwood!”

“I told you about Lucifer destroying my first star cluster.”

“Yeah, because those were totally on the same level.”He thinks he’s succeeded in distracting Michael, until Michael taps the tile thoughtfully.

“But you would.”

“Sometimes, yeah.But really, despite what some guys tell their prom date, it really will go away.”

“If my father and the Winchesters don’t succeed in destroying this earth, we are going to be together for millennia.Possibly eternity.”Adam feels dizzy with the vision of endless time, but Michael continues, re-grounding him.“Your...humanness is going to happen again, isn’t it?As long as we share control you’re going to feel?”

“Apparently I’m still in my prime, so—“ he groans as all the implications set in. “Yeah, probably.”

“I do not consent to having sex with humans.”Michael says it so firmly Adam knows there’s no arguing, at least for the moment.He might be able to talk Michael around, but to be fair, Adam isn’t particularly interested in fucking right now either - trauma and all that - so he figures he has time.

“Okay, cool, I won’t go cruising.Deal.”

Michael frowns and looks back down at Adam’s dick, which is still doing its own thing.Adam blames the heat and resists the urge to cover himself, because goddamn it, Michael is technically the interloper here.“But this is going to happen again.And I will still be here.”

“What’s the point, old man?”

“You should take care of it.”

Adam laughs.He honestly can’t help it.“You want me to jack off.With you here.”

“I’m always going to be here.” Adam knows that should sound more threatening than comforting but he figures they both have a bit of Stockholm syndrome at this point.Michael’s eyebrows draw together as he thinks and then says conclusively.“If you will not allow me to just-“ he pantomime’s snapping his fingers, “-and you insist on doing these human things, then you should do those human things.”

Michael has a point but Adam refuses to acknowledge it.“Absolutely fucking not.”

“You said you would show me about humanity.”

“Showers, hamburgers, cell phones and jobs. Not voyeurism.”

“Adam.”Michael turns his face up to the water and lets it fall directly in his eyes. He neither blinks nor flinches and Adam is abruptly reminded Michael is riding shotgun.“I’m not human. I existed long before your ancestors were covered in fur and mating in trees.This body is a vessel and nothing more.My father did not create me to feel pain or pleasure but to serve a purpose.”For the first time Adam hears bitterness in this last statement, rather than pride.

“Michael—“ he reaches out but Michael waves him away.

“This doesn’t violate either of our wills.Because it doesn’t impact me at all.This is just like the hamburger. Knock yourself out, kid.”

Adam feels a mix of offense, pity, and anger.“I’m over 1200 years old, asshole.” It feels good to finally say it out loud.The world had barely turned, but hell had marched on forever.“But fine. You’re right.I’m assuming you’ll be heading to the backseat?”

He doesn’t wait for Michael’s answer before closing his eyes, but he feels the shift behind his lids when reality matches back up and knows Michael has retreated behind Adam’s will.Adam rests his palm against the tile, bows his head and wraps a hand around his dick.

_Hellooooo, body_.Christ, he’d forgotten how good it felt to get off.Michael’s right, nerve ends are overwhelming, at least until he remembers the rhythm and the twist of his wrist.Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He gasps and clenches his fist against the wall. It’s too much and it’s too fast and he wants to draw it out, take advantage of the shower and this body and the fact he has the leisure to feel again.He bites his lip, the flit-fire pain doing less to cool him off than push him closer.He groans as a tickling shiver runs up his neck and behind his eyelids his vision flashes to Michael sliding his hand across his scars, over his chest, Michael’s cheeks flushed with unsuspected arousal, Michael’s mouth dropping open as he allowed himself sensation.

Everything blurs as his hand speeds up, and his eyes are his,no they’re Michael’s, no they’re his.He’s in the cage and Michael is begging him to just fucking _speak_. Michael is making a quiet shushing noise as Adam sobs out his loss of his mother, of his faithless father, of the siblings who had left him behind.Michael’s breath is hitching and how had he not known, how had he not known how beautiful this vessel was, how could these scars bring Adam sadness when they are signs of how much he had conquered?

Adam gasps and chokes and the hand on his dick is Michael’s hand, now his, now both together and Adam sobs a broken sound as he comes.

Everything is silent except for the sound of the shower and Adam’s harsh breaths.He waits one, two, three breaths before straightening and slowly opening his eyes.Michael is pressed against the far wall of the shower, his eyes wide and panicked and his chest heaving wildly.Adam’s gaze travels from Michael’s lips, swollen and indented with teethmarks, to his neck, flushed bright red, to his fists, balled tightly at his sides.Drops of pearly-white liquid seep between his fingers.

“I couldn’t keep it out,” he whispers harshly.“Why couldn’t I keep it out?”

“I—“. Adam clears his throat and sets aside the feelings of betrayal to deal with later.There’s no way Michael did this on purpose because Michael looks scared as shit and younger than Adam did when he first died.Adam just has to decide whether this is going to be awkward or super awkward.He scrubs a hand through his hair to rub away the phantom feel of Michael’s fingers against his, rinses as fast as possible without looking panicked and turns the shower off.

“So. Overwhelming, right?” He grabs a towel and dries off, careful not to look around for Michael until he’s popped tags off sleep pants and pulled them on.When he does he finds Michael leaned moodily against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest.

“I don’t like it.” Michael enunciates clearly.

Adam wants to answer the fight Michael is so clearly picking, but they both know each other better.He sits on the edge of the bed and towels his hair dry.“Okay.Like I said.I don’t have to do it.”He knows that’s not actually the problem, but when Michael is like this there’s no point in pushing it.

“That’s stupid.”

“Okay.Listen.”He fishes out the packaged toothbrush and toothpaste and brushes past Michael into the bathroom.“I’m going to sleep.There’s a remote by the bed that I’ll show you how to work.Probably skip Cinemax.But seriously, I’m gonna sleep.”

He’s actually not sure it will work, since Michael can’t sleep instead of just choosing not to.But he is sure as hell gonna try.He brushes his teeth and climbs into bed and Michael sits stiffly beside him.Adam closes his eyes and curls around his pillow and imagines that heaven, even in its heyday, had nothing on this mattress.

He wakes up twelve hours later.Golden Girls is on the TV.Michael is sitting next to him, knees drawn to his chin and one hand tangled in Adam’s hair.There’s a greasy aftertaste on Adam’s tongue and on the nightstand there’s a plate with three fries and a half eaten hamburger.Adam hasn’t slept in ten years - 1200 years - so he takes all of this in with half opened eyes, and decides to go back to sleep.


End file.
